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Sister of KREM's Brittany Bailey reflects on loss of baby

October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. The sister of KREM 2's Brittany Bailey reflects on her family's loss.

SPOKANE, Wash. — Scot and Renae Lewis tried for a year to get pregnant with their first child. The Ohio couple eventually turned to fertility treatments before getting the good news.

"When we did find out that we were pregnant, we were extremely excited because it was a long and tough road to get to that point," Renae Lewis said.

But that joy would eventually turn to heartbreak.

Graham David Lewis was born Sept. 24, 2014. That was also the date of his death.

Renae Lewis, sister to KREM 2's Brittany Bailey, suffered a stillbirth that day. And the experience forever changed life for her and her husband, Scot.

"That's when everything started," she said. "You know, it's like - before Graham and then after Graham - from that moment on."

Renae Lewis was one of thousands of moms who suffer some type of baby loss each year. National statistics show one in four mothers will experience a miscarriage, stillbirth or other infant loss.

But it is a tough topic that still is often not discussed. That is part of the mission of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. Back in 1988, President Reagan proclaimed the month of October as a way to raise awareness about such losses and the resources available for parents.

"I had heard of miscarriages before that usually happened early on in pregnancies. So usually they say, you know, after you hear a heartbeat, you're pretty safe after that point going forward," Lewis said. "But I did not know what stillbirth was at that point in a pregnancy."

Like many families, Scot and Renae Lewis were overwhelmed at the hospital with how to handle the news and all the decisions that would come after that.

"They want to be respectful of what you want to do with your baby," Lewis said of the hospital staff. "Do you want to have your baby baptized, do you want to bathe your baby, and then, something that now I treasure is Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep, they asked if we wanted photographs of Graham. And, I really didn't hesitate and was like, yes that would be wonderful. I didn't really know what I was getting in that moment but I would treasure it for years, for a lifetime."

Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep is an organization dedicated to offering remembrance photos for families who have suffered a loss, with the help of volunteer photographers. Parents can also order personalized ornaments from the organization.

"I have a close family friend whose mom had a stillbirth, and I remember her telling me after she heard about Graham that she had wished that she had had that same experience because, back in the day, they just took their babies, and they didn't get to see them, so I just feel so bad for anyone that would have to go through that," Lewis said.

"So it's just wonderful what they have in place now, and I think that we're still trying to improve the conditions in the hospital, but I wouldn't have it any other way. I mean, I wish I could have spent more days in the hospital, but the two that we got to spend with him, I'll be forever grateful," she continued.

The Lewis family now spends time donating to and getting involved in organizations, including the March of Dimes and the Star Legacy Foundation.

The family also wants to see more hospitals continue to find ways to support families. Some facilities place a butterfly or angel sticker on the door to alert hospital staff that there has been an infant loss in the room. Many others are now using CuddleCots, which are cooling systems that help to preserve babies to give moms and dads more time to bond and grieve.

"I think it's more out in the public now, I think that there are families that are more willing to talk about infant loss and pregnancy loss, so yes, there's a lot that you can do now," Lewis said. "Really it's for prevention and education. You'd hate for a family to have to experience a loss like this, but there are a lot of resources now than four years ago when everything went with Graham that you can do now, and so that's what we're doing today.

"I feel really good about providing more information and education about the topic in hopes that we can educate more families," she said.

Monday, Oct. 15 is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. Those who want to support awareness about the cause are asked to take part in the International Wave of Light. Each person is asked to light a candle at 7 p.m., in his or her own time zone, and to keep it burning for one hour. The goal is to have a continuing wave of light around the globe.

The Lewis family also celebrates Graham's birthday each year and has since welcomed "rainbow baby" Hudson, with baby Hayes on the way in January.

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