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July 26th -0Hard Ass

by dhare

KREM.com

Posted on October 15, 2009 at 9:26 AM


Today is the day we leave Kansas, its bitter sweet. The hospitality has been unmatched by any other state, and the rolling green fields are beautifull and tranquill. The heat and the wind will not be missed and another state means were getting closer to Virgina. With no luck at finding any chamois cream we shared the last of the Anti Monkey Butt powder. By lunch time it was time for reapplication but we were bone dry. I decided that I would have to go for the petroleum jelly. WARNING! DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME. I applied the Vaseline and we were back on the road. The mixture of the humidity, monkey butt and the Vaseline created a spackel like material in my shorts. My bike shorts were now actually glued to my ass. I will need a surgeon or a mason to get them off. We made it to Springfield MO, and a Walmart, we searched the aisles looking for something that might work. We decided on Gold Bond Shea Butter. Hope it works.

Stats:
Miles rode: 113.11
Avg. Speed: 13.21
Saddle Time: 8:34.32
Max Speed: 35.23
Calories Burnt: 10113
Roadkill Count: 27
Flats: 4
Mechanicals: 0
Fights: 0
Wrecks: 0
Offers for place to stay: 0
Bottles of Pee: 1

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